Lies.

He shines with childish innocence and immaturity. His youthful soul is filled with excitement and adventure. But a dark and dreary being longs to drain him of his lust for life and tear his soul from his body to leave him lifeless. She seeks out his heart and he innocently surrenders it. She toils and teases him into believe she surrenders her love to him and he sacrifices everything to be with her. His first love in the world is a fraud and just as his heart fills to the brim with passion and lust, she leaves him with his heart exposed. Despairing, listless and torn, his love becomes hostility and he seeks out his revenge.

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Every fear you've never confronted, every pain you've ever suffered, and all the anger you've ever experienced manifests itself in you. The feeling escalates slowly and the heat in your stomach rises to a boil. Your mind stops and you lose control. All you can do is wait and watch to see what happens next. Your whole body trembling, your sanity quickly abandons you. And then, all of a sudden, you're floating on the inside, heart racing, while your body's at its own free will, wrecking and destroying everything in your path. And as your mind goes back to normal and your sanity returns, you're still powerless.

Morose

A mist of pity and sadness surrounds me. Light and billowy but engulfing, nonetheless. My head is enveloped in it, preventing any clear thought. This feeling of morose is always present. My attempts to forget it are unsuccessful. It still follows me as if it were my shadow. I can't rid myself of it. It's a feeling in my gut, a dew in my head. It's something which I cannot comprehend and though I try so hard to find the words, I still fail. It's not right. Just as my spirits begin to escalate, there is something, a barracade, a boundary, preventing me from being completely happy. Preventing me from being complete.

My Drug

It temps me and when I fall victim, I forfeit the fate that I had cradled so dearly in my hands, for it has weakened me and the cold, unforgiving hands of this drug are now home to my destiny. I am no longer strong enough to control myself, so it plays my part. I let one foot in the door and then I can't resist stepping over the threshold to a hell that will await me. Curiosity killed the cat and so I shall suffer the same fate.

Kristen

She is a modern beauty. She walks tall, shoulders back, chin up, poised and confident. Her soft, bronze skin glistens and glows and her shining light brown hair falls gently onto her shoulders while framing the square of her face. She's the epitome of beauty; always polished, primmed, groomed, and neat. Attaining the elevated status is a difficult and prolonged task, but all the elegance she has achieved through hours spent at the gym and fortunes spent at the salon has left her lacking in overall character, charisma, and charm. She is a beauty queen without an entity.

Mind, body, and soul

My mind wants to be free to wander and fly, but it is my body that fails me. My body holds me back and weighs me down when my soul longs to explore. It is within my body that I am confined, imprisoned and there is no escape. Only patience and stamina to see it through.

Knowing someone

It is never a matter of what or how someone appears to be, rather it is a matter of what or who they are, for it is easy to defy the senses and so many do so, but it is only when you search (and this requires patience) that you can know someone. What they are lies within the core of an individual and that is why there are always those who will never be acquainted with even themselves.

Lorelei

She's a shy, meek creature and she appreciates her solitude. She's a thinker, a daydreamer, an observer and a remarkable intellect. Whilst in the company of beings, she holds her tongue. Seldom ever does she speak and when she does, she speaks with purpose and her voice pours like syrup. A hush falls upon those around her and each are listening enthusiastically. They hang on every word that she speaks and when she has finished what she's had to say, the listeners' ears crave the graceful words on which they floated about the room for that short moment or two. She understands more about this phenomenon than any of the listeners had imagined. She's aware of how her words are admired and knows just when to assert herself.

Stephanie

She oozes attitude from every pore on her body, but is unaware of how much it holds her back. It weighs her down when she walks, as if there were bricks chained to each of her ankles. And the expressions bound to her face are cold and far away, as if something at the core of her is missing. She speaks with a light, mellow voice; almost comforting, but topped with disgust for everything she speaks of. Her posture is off. She is ungraceful, unapproachable. She's a bomb, always most peaceful before the chaos. You never quite know what will set her off and when you do, her eyes are piercing and her sharp words will slice through you and sting for hours afterward. She is ruthless, but I've seen her sweet side. I think she's abandoned it long ago.

My Thoughts

I No Longer Dream

I no longer dream. My sweet salvation has abandoned me. Life is unbearable without this. I go throughout my day, the reality, bitter and awaiting nothing. It is gone. I loved it most, this time I spent dreaming. I experienced the impossible, the nonsensical, the beautiful. It has abandoned me. Perhaps forever. I loved it most.

Perpetually Alive

I am perpetually alive. Not only am I alive, I am living, but only barely. Some wouldn't use this word to describe what I do. I think twice before I do, but I suppose I should. What I do, always, is monotanous and boring. Unsatisfactory. There are those who tell you "Live life to the fullest," and I am quick to reply "How? What is it that I should be doing? What is it that I'm doing wrong?" I still await my answer. I don't believe I will ever receive one, because there is no answer. Not for me, anyway.

Asch Conformity Experiments

I had to write this for speech class. I thought it was an interesting topic, and I liked how I had written it, so I'm posting it.

"Have you ever found yourself laughing at something that wasn't funny just because others were laughing? Or, have you ever agreed with something just because everyone else was? And were you ever pressured into doing something because others were doing it? This is called conformity. Conformity is defined as changing your attitude, opinion, or behavior so that it matches that of others. Often times we find ourselves conforming without realizing it. Sometimes this is helpful, other times it is not. Solomon Asch, a pioneer in social psychology, performed one of the most famous conformity experiments at Columbia University. This experiment forever changed the way we look at social compliance.
As a subject in this experiment, you would be asked to participate in what you believe to be a vision test. You join a group of fellow subjects while the experimenter holds up two cards. Your mission is to compare the line on the first card to the three lines on the second card to find the one that matches. Simple enough, but what if your peer subjects unanimously chose the wrong answer? This is the challenge that Asch's subjects were faced with.
More than one-third of the time, his subjects were willing to answer incorrectly in order to conform to the majority, while, when subjects were given the same task alone, their ability to answer correctly prevailed more than 99% or the time. Solomon Asch also revealed that there are certain aspects that strengthen conformity, such as having a unanimous group of three or more people or making the subjects out to feel insecure or incompetent.
Bottom line? We are sensitive to social norms and our minds are trained to obey and to conform. Although this type of suggestibility may seem petty, we are not immuned. Behavior is contagious. Just as Solomon Asch himself had said, "...the tendency to conformity in our society is so strong that reasonably intelligent and well-meaning young people are willing to call white black..." "

My poems

Pen to Paper

Pen to paper, heart on my sleeve
I wait for the words to flow,
For my heart to cascade
And flood the page, glorious
I'm still waiting, impatiently now

My Heart's Lie

My hear flutters in deceit.
I can tell its evil lies.
Luring me in like fly to fruit,
I can't resist the feeling.
I'm enamored and destined
To fall in the trap again

I Love You

Three simple words,
Such a sweet, sweet lie.
An expression of affection,
Sharper than knives.
They slice me in half
Yet, they bring me much comfort.
I submerge myself in them,
Shield myself with them.
This is my sweet demise.
"I love you"

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Original

You kiss me. Soft at first, then hard and forceful. In the dark, quiet corner of the room. Arms around my neck, body against mine. Eyes closed. Hearts racing. Counting down the seconds before you cut off, back up a few inches, and stare into my eyes. Heavy breath. You lean in close to my ear to whisper something sweet. Then, kiss me gently on the neck a few times. My breath quickens. You smell so sweet. I want this moment to be the rest of my life.

Alternate ending

You kiss me. Soft at first, then hard and forceful. In the dark quiet corner of the room. Arms around my neck, body against mine. Eyes closed. Hearts racing. Counting down the seconds before you cut off, back up a few inches, and stare into my eyes. Heavy breath. Then, kiss me gently on the neck a few times. My breath quickens even more. You smell so sweet. I want this moment to be the rest of my life. You lean in close to me ear and in a breathy whisper, you say "I love you." Then, silence. I forget where I am and I'm soon reminded when you cut through the silence, once again. "Hey," you say, "I'm serious." And you are. You sound serious.
I can't respond. I open my mouth and... nothing. As if you've flipped the switch, but the electricity has gone out. The light bulb has burnt out. I can't move. You're still staring at me. You wait. I don't know what you wait for, because my mind has gone blank. I can't imagine you saying anything soon, so I know I have to think of something to say. "I love you, too," I lie. I realize this isn't true and it doesn't sound sincere, but you lean in and kiss me quick, despite. My heart sinks.

Blog Numero Uno

I suppose that an introduction is a fine idea. My name is Bethany Barnett and I'm 14 years old. I enjoy sleeping, eating, mostly anything social, myspace, making videos, shopping, procrastinating, and obsessing over celebrities. I'm bisexual. I'm not much into blogging, but I love to write. I spend too much time on the internet and watching tv, I wait until the last minute to finish homework, but I enjoy school as much as I possibly can. I love my family and friends more than anything else. I don't like labels or stereotypes. I don't like backstabbers or posers, sluts, complainers or racists, homophobes, and sexists. Thank you.


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